Notes in a....Hamburger? And Introducing the 'Dating Epic Fail' List

Contributed by Western Wilma:

Let me tell you a story from my life:

Long ago in a place far far away...there was a little girl named Izzabell. When she was just a small girl in first grade she began the adventure of 'dating?' Her best friend Manuel would walk her home to the stop light and exchange candy with her to show his love. The stop light of course was as far as Manuel was allowed to go. As the years passed Izzabell had many boyfriends that she ended up playing kick ball and football with during recess. Then she decided to 'go out' with some of her boyfriends. Since she wasn't allowed to date till she was 16. She would go to the skating rink every friday with her 'boyfriend' (Joshua). Then she realized there were many other opportunities out there so she continued to date other friends. Here are where the good stories begin and where the silly dates will be shared:

Once I was asked out with a note in a hamburger - Notes in balloons, Notes in ice, Notes in ice cream, Notes in leaves..... I know it was the dating craze to ask creatively, but really what else can you put notes in? I like the couragous 'knight' that just asks.

Here are some of the Dating Epic Fails I have experienced:

#1: putting your arm around the person you are dating after they tell you their back and shoulders are sun burned.
#2 insisting on only answering yes or no to questions and not reciprocating any questions back
#3 putting the moves on someone while they are asleep.
#4 Always looking somewhere else when talking or listening.
#5 obnoxious laughing at your own jokes
#6 Feeling for a garment line on their thigh
#7 Telling everyone but the person you are dating that you might be interested.
#8 Sincerely asking to make out with you on a first date
#9 Smashing your dates fingers in the car door.
#10 Cutting or Highlighting your dates hair..when you have no experience
#11 Insulting your date continuously

[Editor's note: Thanks Western Wilma! That's quite a list! And that gives me an idea - if anyone else out there has some "Dating Epic Fails" that they want to add to the list, please send them to outofseasonblog@gmail.com and we'll start a master list in the sidebar that keeps a running tally of our most awesome Fails!]

To Tree, Or Not To Tree....

From Midwest Maggie (name made up to preserve anonymity):

The worst/most awkward being-single experience I had was when I was in college. I was 20 years old, and this guy had a huge crush on me and just WOULD NOT leave me alone. I was living in the dorms at the time, on the second floor. He kept asking me out, and I even went out with him twice - but I was just not feeling it. He was borderline creepy, and definitely had stalker-potential. Anyway, after the second time we went out he asked me out and I said no, but I was polite about it - I just told him I only saw us as friends and didn't want to lead him on. Anyway, he didn't seem to get the clue.

Outside my dorm room window was a pretty big tree. Every time I looked outside I could clearly see it.... and this guy knew it. Anyway, one day I came home from the library and looked out my window and this tree was covered - and I mean COVERED - with marshmallows. He had stuck them on all the branches and twigs and everything (thank goodnesss it was winter and there were no leaves on it, because he would have killed the tree!). AND - get this - draped right through the middle of the tree was a huge banner that was tied to the branches so it wouldn't blow off and it read: "Give this 'softie' another chance - please try to 'squish' me into your life". And then he signed his name. No joke.

Needless to say I avoided him like the plague after that. The worst thing was that he didn't come to clean up the tree after that, and it was too high for me to do anything about it without going to a lot of effort, so there was a constant reminder about this embarrassing event at my dorm. The marshmallows would slowly fall off the tree and line the sidewalk, and I had to glue my blinds shut just so I didn't have to see the banner flapping in the breeze for weeks on end until the building custodian finally took it down! Geez. Gotta love the single life.....

One is the FUNNIEST Number!

High-Strung. Sweet Spirit. Immature. Menace to Society. Whatever you've been referred to as, it all means the same thing. You're single, and it's not okay. Being a Mormon is awesome. But, being a Mormon who is single is.... HILARIOUS!

There are 7 million single members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (I made that up). Each and every one of us has at least one hilarious story having to do with being single in the church, and likely we all have more than one. That is literally MILLIONS of stories to be shared, laughed about, and retold to all future generations (not ours, of course, as we are unable/not allowed to reproduce without a partner, thus our lineage dies with us). But, nonetheless, other successful family units will pass these stories down through their family tree. ...Maybe they'll have us over for Family Night, or something....

Anyway, the purpose of this blog is to provide a safe, clean forum for ANYONE (yes, even you Marrieds) to share stories, videos, adventures, and the like TO THE WORLD! We want to hear them! Please send your contributions to outofseasonblog@gmail.com where they will be carefully screened, made anonymous, and then posted for all of us to enjoy.

After all, if we can't enjoy being single, then why even get out of bed in the morning?